A Fatalist

   Whether I was a genuine fatalist or not, I happened to encounter the moment of fate along the course of life. It really didn't matter how I perceived or called that moment in own language. Because it was right there in front of me, staring at me in a hostile mood. I was frightened and scared a lot in the begining, but it didn't take long to get even in the name of survival. And eventually, I learned how to cope with something that I had called 'fate' in a way to play with myself.

   How? I was not afraid of losing a bulwark against fate. I was a true worrior to get absorbed in a battle field. And I lost my consciousness to distinguish between life and death. From that moment, I had realized I was fighting against the shadow of fate, not against the fate itself. The game had changed its momentum, and I knew I would beat him, even I was not allowed to be confident of victory. By the time I saw truth behind it, I could make the new leap forward to reach up the upper level. I was advanced into a different set of the game. It was the true meaning of evolution to move forward.

   The question is I am still possessing the momentum to move forward against all odds ? I am not so sure of it. I am afraid of coming back where I had stood before I made the quantum leap.  

   Maybe I am too old for this stuff ?