Consciousness (2) - Attention & Interest

    Attention and interest are far away. My nature was also indifferent to external things, but it seems to deepen. It's just so hard to take care of myself and put it altogether in a harmonious mood. It requires to devote myself a full time task indeed. And I ask myself what kind of additional energy can I turn my attention to? I know enough that this tendency is not necessarily merit or an advantage to move forward. It's been a long time to see that I am the kind of person of what I am presently and I try to adjust accordingly. 

   The circulatory function also applies here. If I repeat this way several times (although it's awkward to call it a virtuous cycle), I'm comfortable with my own path. After all, I discover a pattern that I have hardly known to before. I don't think it is uncomfortable, but I'm gradually about to become stubborn. At any rate, I just hope to avoid a big mistake that isn't necessary.

   As a result, there are times when I find the results of my time focused on myself quite occasionally. At that moment, there is a touch of thrill that sparkles breifely. Even if it's a very short moment, it certainly feels like something in it.

   But I don't care much. Because it's all passing by one way or the other.