An Autonomous Life

   It was the pleasant moment after swimming in the elementary school yard on saturday. It became almost a regular routine for me to spend a saturday afternoon. Lots of kids were there, playing with scoccer and some played baseball. It was crowded as it looked like, and moms were gathering and sharing their opinions beside where I was sitting. I couldn't pay attention much because I had to take care of breath after the swimming exercise. And I was a little nerveous since my usual sitting position had been already taken by a bunch of moms. But I instantly got accustomed to enjoy a scenery of blue sky in the above, leaving tiny emotional discomfort.

   Mom's talk was all about their kids, about any minor changes as kids getting to a stage of puberty and a relationship with peers and teachers, plus much more. The thing was that it is alright as long as they stay in the line to differenciate between careful concern and overprotection. But I was afraid they didn't. Of course, it was not my business and I didn't have to be worried about it at all. I happened to be there, listening to what they had told.

   I remember I was all alone when I was little. I was the last among siblings and I had to be accepted as things were going around. I learned how to manage with myself in a very early stage, while I was suffering from conflicts. But I still don't recognize nor categorize them as being opressed matters to control over my ego at all. It was merely the condition that I had to face with by chance, when I was little. And I do believe that I have became who I am, to be based on my preferences and selections within the scope of internal subjects matter(s).

   Maybe I was born to be independent and to prefer to be autonomous very much so ?