Beyond A Mountain

   I have to make a choice whether I continue to pursue a solution of the unfulfilled inquiry or not. When I was young, it was not like that. I had to continue on what I had looked for unless there was no way around. It was not a matter of choice, rather I felt like I was obligated to do it. So I hadn't paid attention much to what I could get if things were going well or vice versa. Now I see and calculate what I would get if I take this choice most of time. 

   A mountain in front of me doesn't necessarily climb up if I could expect what kind of sceneries I see at the top of the mountain. The difference lies on mainly between doing of climb up per se and simulating of possible outcomes to make a better choice. I was blamed on a self-centered man a few times, meaning that I ignored all adventurous activities in the middle of a progress. But I was sick and tired of repeating endless excuses to mention about I did what I had to.

   Maybe I am beginning to enter a vague stage of life as a mean of tools, not as a pursuit of purposes.