Being Surprisingly Irritated

   The fact that a person like me stiil has room for being irritated by others makes me feel I am still alive. Of course, in the beginning, I was hurted instinctively a little and wondered why I should be bothered by that. Because I already decided to stay in a free relationship zone long time ago. And that allowed me to overcome the emotional ups and downs no matter what others did. I was a kind blocked by others' influences, at least in an emotional sense. That didn't mean I was living in a small room without any connections to others. But I made myself clear that I was no longer interrelated to others in terms of deep emotional ties. It has worked out pretty well, and I haven't had any difficulties to live with that. Some said I might be isolated by others and ought to stay an enclosed area. I already knew of those things and also knew it would be better off to take the latter. Because I felt like I was born to live that way, even I was a little kid. To make matters more convincing, I still remember the moment that I was not afraid of the total darkness before me when I was six years old. 

   For about an hour or so, I got upset due to the influence of others. And I was gone through the bumpy road for a while. I tried to blame on the others, on the way they had behaved. But it didn't take too long to get vanished.

   I was talking to myself, "vanity of vanities."