Visiting The Hospital

   I thought I put in order something to understand the meaning of death. I was  strongly object to merely fundamental horror to avoid what the death is all about. I simply called it 'Avoidant Remarks.' I wished to believe that a specific and sensuous being combined with a substance was a simple assumption that returns to the original molecule. In any case, it was a difference in turn, and I was relieved that it is the fair opportunity, contributed a big part of it.

   A few weeks ago or a month ago, I felt something different that the disappearance of existence came in a different sense. I was kept in such a small space that I could feel stuffy and suffocating. It was like a room after death. And also, the difference of existence was conveyed in a completely different sense.

   I was clearly frightened.

   The hospital visit culminated in the flow. I was confused under the sound of running machines for an instant. The contrast medium that went in spread through my body was circulationg. The hot liquid moved around in the stomach. I have become as small as can be. I felt as if my existence were going to be vanished. The place was filled with thoughts of death.

   At the very last minute, I suddenly remembered Oliver Sax's 'My Own Life.' Then I got out of that mood.